I loved the main choice/theme I pulled for The Bridge Between Worlds 14 Day Challenge and if you took part, I hope your final choice is unfolding beautifully so far!
I am appreciating the simplicity of having one main choice to focus on (alongside my daily choices practice), and it has got me reflecting on the power of surrender, and being in the ‘being’ energy of my choices over doing and running energy.
Unlearning Running
Since I decided to become a dancer, I’ve been running to make it happen… and make it happen I did (and I am so proud and grateful)!
Because it was huge for me to say no to an academic career and choose what I loved…
I recognise that I was very good at being in the doing energy… I became a warrior… an athlete of the gods (as Martha Graham says), and an expert at pushing the boundaries of what was possible with my body.
But that also involved a lot of overexerting… Injury… Burnout…
My focus was so strongly on not failing: proving to myself and my loved ones that I was good enough: that I wasn’t a complete failure making this choice, so I was always ‘on’.
And that had an effect on my ability to rest…
I wasn’t able to rest because I was running through life.
I ran to make it happen.
I ran to catch up because I came to dance late…
I ran to squeeze in part-time work to fund training…
I ran to fit as many gigs as possible in a day… from studio to job, country to country, theatre to theatre…
It was a dream come true… but sometimes I was too exhausted to fully enjoy it.
And because my nervous system was often activated, sometimes I would perceive dangers and difficult situations which weren’t really there.
It became addictive: hard to stop… to say no… to listen to my body’s wisdom because I was worried about when the next job would be or being left behind.
In a way I loved my life like that… I had a razor focus on making it happen… achieving it… and onto the next goal…
But it has been even more amazing unlearning that way over the past 10 years using intuition work… Coming home to myself… And realising there is a whole other way of creating that is effortless.
I have loved finding out what I truly love outside of “I can’t fail” and who I am when I am ‘being’ not ‘doing’.
Today, I would love to share some connected honeymoon landings and a lesson (which I renamed a ‘blesson’ because I think it was a blessing in disguise) from the days that unfolded afterwards…
The Being over Doing Challenge:
Ahmad and I spent two weeks in paradise on our honeymoon. We stayed in the countryside in an idyllic spot near rice paddies by a black sand beach. We took day trips out on adventures and to see friends, and balanced each adventure with a day chilling in our amazing accommodation… At the end of each adventure, it was a joy to return to our beautiful home. ❤️
But it was fascinating to notice how hard it was for me to chill.
There were moments where I didn’t know what to do with myself:
Moments of guilt because, “Who am I to be in paradise?”
Moments where being felt so unfamiliar it was boring…
Ironically, on the plane back from Bali, anticipating returning to life, taking in everything happening in the world and what I was embarking on next (with quite a bit of doing involved), my stomach began to knot and I felt a tightness in my intestines.
Then, back in the UK, doing my Journal to Joy practice, I realised the pain in my stomach felt like something more serious than nerves, and I needed to sleep.
The next day I wondered, was it just a pendulum swing after all that magic we created? And off I flew to Germany.
But in Germany, it felt worse. Overnight, all I could think about was the pain. I thought perhaps I picked up a parasite from the water from our waterfall temple experience on the last day… Or was it early onset of colitis, which runs in my family? My mind began finding all the possible ‘bad’ scenarios. So I set about taking obvious actions, calling my UK doctors, finding pharmacies, and a tropical diseases hospital to get checked out…
The Realisation:
But as I began eating a colitis-friendly diet, using the practices I teach others, taking it slow… I stopped judging it as bad, came out of stress and the pain subsided.
By late evening, things started to feel ok again, and I realised that in making me slow down and listen to my body’s wisdom, I had a moment to pause before going back into the default programme (running & doing).
It showed me where I am not living aligned with my true level of consciousness, with the universal consciousness of all things.
It was an opportunity choose a different way.
Because the pain I was feeling was a ‘physicalisation’ of the mental stress I had felt at coming back to life.
Now I am feeling much better… I recognise that there are tests to be done and actions to take (and I will keep you updated on the results).
But most of all, I have been treating my body as a temple. Continuing a very gentle diet, getting lots of rest, letting my nervous system relax… Reconnecting to my joy…
The Proof:
Going back to the honeymoon… eventually through the boredom… the being… the breathing… the noticing… my nervous system relaxed…
Whereas normally I would wake nervously after a 10-minute nap and crack on… I slept more. Sleep became my best friend. At night, sometimes I slept 10, 11 hours.
I found a new calm… a new level of rest… more sleeping, more being… I think I aged a bit backwards out there… and I experienced a magical flow state where my intuition was even more on point and the synchronicities more immense, even on the other side of the world.
The New Way:
Through this journey, I am realising how I want to live my life… how abundant good health is, and where stress is not serving me.
That, as much as I love dance, I don’t love the running that was becoming a normal part of my career.
This experience has changed my perspective and raised my vibration… and most of all how I feel less inclined to work from running… but to work from being… from this reset back into flow state… What a blesson!
Do you feel this running energy too?
If so, this is your reminder that rest is your birthright!
The world tells us we must be superhuman…
But when we rest and recharge, we realign with our highest vibration and sovereign state…
We’re better able to listen to our intuition… to move out of “how dare I” thinking into the vibration of love with all things and ourselves… to make connections not from logic but from intuition… and to hold ourselves whole instead of running from the conditioned framework society gives us.
What This Means In Practice:
My body is literally forcing me to slow down.
And I’m listening.
When I don’t honour what my body needs, it shows up physically.
So I am practising ‘being’ instead of ‘doing’… even when the guilt voice pipes up saying “you should be productive”…
The conditioning to run is strong.
But my body is my guide now (not my to-do list!)
And I know that when I work from being, from rest, from alignment with universal consciousness, I create more powerfully and more joyfully than I ever did from running.
Your New Moon Journal to JOY Invitations: Grab your Journal to JOY and reflect:
Body Scan:
- Where in your body are you holding the “running” energy? Place your hand there and listen. What does it want to you to know?
- Write: “If my body could speak to me about rest, it would say…”
The Running Inventory:
- What are you running towards? List 3-5 things.
- What are you running from? Be as honest with yourself as possible.
- Invite the fears and beliefs to surface. Let yourself feel each fear and write it down. Acknowledge this fear or belief is not the only option (or even true!) and release it with this new moon.
The New Way:
- Where are you settling for less than you really desire?
- What does the life you really desire look like? Describe it in detail, let your imagination dream BIG.
- If your inner world is a mirror for your outer world, what seeds would you like to plant there?
Integration:
- What do you need to change about the way you are living life now to live the life you desire?
- What is one way you can practice “being” this week?
- What is 1 thing you can change this month?
Join the Magic:
✨ 18th January: The JOY Hour I’m excited to share these conversations with beautiful and brave souls who have remembered that when they put joy at the heart of their art, their business, and their life, everything transforms. This month’s JOY hour, I interview Isik Tlabar on What we would tell our 14 year-old selves.
👘I need your help. For years, we have watched fast fashion poison our bodies and planet: synthetic fabrics releasing toxins on our skin, mountains of waste dumped in the Global South. As a dancer, I know fabric intimately, and I know we deserve better.
So I’m creating a sustainable clothes brand with two live: that transform from gorgeous sensual soft eco garments you feel great in, into butterfly wings for a second life. From your wardrobe to a child’s wings. Two beautiful lives, zero waste, infinite joy. But I can’t do it alone. Every donation (with beautiful rewards!) helps us collectively prove that fashion can heal instead of harm. Join the change:https://www.crowdfunder.co.uk
🌴 3rd-8th March 2026: Yucatán Retreat Last call to sign up!Sacred medicine ceremonies, embodied alchemy, and creative rebirth in the sacral chakra of Mother Earth. Early bird pricing until January 23rd 2025 (Get £400 off!).
This new moon is your invitation to stop running and start being.
Not because you earned it, but because you’re already whole
